I got a bit of bad news this week, I didn't get an interview for the big job I applied for way back in February. I was quite surprised (because of course in my head I was already working there, but also because I truly felt I was qualified) and of course, I was disappointed.
I felt like I let myself down, and my husband and our would-be family. I had a bit of a cry and got some comfort from my husband and the puppies. We talked about how a better paying job would give us more money, but definitely less freedom (since I would likely have to go to an office environment every day, rather than working from home as I do now).
The truth is, I worked very hard on my application for the job and the 40 hour test they sent me to complete. I tried my best and that didn't end up being good enough (for whatever reason). If it didn't work out, there must be a reason why it didn't work out. All is not lost, I still have a good job with benefits and freedoms not often available. So, I've decided that even though it didn't work out, I tried my very best and I don't need to feel like I let anyone down.
The good news is that today (totally coincidentally and very spur-of-the-moment) I had my annual performance evaluation. I did well. They like me. They are happy with my progress and want me to stay (it's a permanent job, but it is still nice to hear they find me a valuable asset). I also got a nice sized raise, bigger than I expected given that the economy is still recovering and many, many, many companies are not give raises at all.
I'll continue to look for another job, I guess, but if it doesn't work out, I think it'll be okay. Many, many, many people raise families with less than we already have and I never want to be one of those people who always needs more, more, more.